Who wants to help another teenage wastecase?

Im a 14 year old girl and i just dont know what to do with myself. I suffer from OCD, and bipolar disorder. I have a compulsive need to fit in with my peers. when i look and act like everyone else i feel accepted and i feel like im not different which is good. everyone says you should be yourself and be unique but i dont want to. i want to be just like everyone else. i want to be just another brick in the wall. when i was growing up i dressed like a pollack i had the wrong haircut and the wrong attitude. now i try to be exactly like the typical american teenager. but i cant. i dont have the right body (5'9 and 150lbs) the right hair (i have brown and all my "friends" are blonde). i have this best friend who is part of the popular clique. they let me in their group but i still feel like i dont belong. im not really one of them no matter how much i want to be. im going into freshman year in a school with a class of 1000 and my middle school class had 100. i feel overwhelmed. i cant fit in with 100 people ive known for 8 years. how am i supposed to find friends with 1000 people ive never met. im just a wreck and i cant afford to be like everyone else. i steal clothes that i get compliments on and i steal the makeup that hides my grotesque natural features. i had a self harming problem that i pushed myself through. i drink once a week and smoke a cig biweekly. im a mess. just a mess. i have no where to turn (not even god i dont believe in that ****). i just have to figure out how to whip myself into shape. but i just dont know how. ive hit rock bottom.